inside looking in

Inside looking in

2012-03-02T14:35:00.003Z

I live for this.

It's ridiculous,
I know.
Pathetic, exaggerated,
over the top,
Think what you like
it won't make me change.

Inside my head
there's a whole little world
I created to suit me
an order
I can rearrange.

It's made out of thoughts
built upon words
sustained by ideas
scaffolded only
by feeling and want.

So weak and ineffable,
hollow and scant
so meaningless too
people would say -
if they knew.

They'd be right
of course
in their own petty way.
But a world like this
is so reliable
pleasant and safe
it does not disappoint me
of fail to be true.
Plus it is all mine
to enjoy
and will last
for as long as do.

Of course,
if only you knock on my door -
even if you come
to ravage and shake
to strike and to break
all buildings and walls -

I will be delighted
and hope you will stay
after everything falls.

Going your way

2012-02-22T10:20:00.006Z

I thought my whole life
I would just have to sit and wait
Pouring useless words out
While the best of life went on
cheerful and indifferent
right before
my self-blinded eyes.

But now, after all,
I exhilarate
almost out of breath
and feel as if I am soaring
high above.

All it took
was that gesture you made
a suble provocation
that reached out
probing for what's there
poking my numb self
stirring its capacity
for love.

True,
nothing we might say
could build safe, solid ground
for us to land.
So let me go your way
and we'll just stay above
up in the sky -
not down in hell -
living on wild dreams
with no end.

So there you were

2012-02-01T13:27:00.001Z

Acceptance is key, of course.
Take birds, insects, even mammals:
all except us
- wretched beastly souls -
just take or leave whatever's there
and move on.

We have to analyse, consider
- "what if...?" -
speculate, refuse
try to change, absorb
and so many times abuse
that nothing can ever be the same
or - which is worse -
we make it gone.

So there you were,
just passing through
and I couldn't simply look away
once I had set my eyes on you.

And here I am
quite stuck
feeling trapped, paralysed, amazed...

Were I a lady-bird
a dog, a sea gull
or a duck
And the question
would never have been raised.

Say what you like

2012-01-27T19:36:00.005Z

Say what you like
entice me
lure me
provoke me
with your flattering words,

there is nothing I can do.

Say what you will
make my heart pound
my eyes shine
my body tremble,
there is nowhere I can go

to be with you.

Say what I want
take me
tell me
give me
what I need.

It seems
that nothing I can be
will make you look away

But
sadly
tragically
fatally
nothing you or I can say

will make us lovers one day.

The Depth of My Dark Soul

2011-06-27T12:49:00.006+01:00

T
The nature of my Soul is shapeless

And it is black, but can be white as well

It can fade like smoke or be stunningly bright

Always pulsing, nevertheless,

Permanently hiding out,

And coming back into sight.

The nature of my Soul can be a sunflower

It can be your smile, when you smile,

It can be a cold wind gust, for a while,

But remains unique in its power:

The golden sixty-first minute

of an entirely new hour.

The nature of my soul is ubiquitous,

It sees the good, it sees the bad,

It feels like a black hole

Slowly absorbing, in contraction

And waiting to expand

Into a burst of energy so strong and redeeming

So shockingly violent,

That six billion human beings,

Six billion wretched and blinded souls,

Would at once become silent.

(By Pedro Manuel and me)

Surround to forget

2011-06-22T10:41:00.001+01:00

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things,
The world can forget us for a while.
Let’s accept what life brings,
At home, elsewhere in exile.

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things
Within a thousand or more than a mile
Let’s pretend that that we’re kings
And love will rule for a while.

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things
Thus protecting ourselves from the rest...
Let's find peace at last in contemplation
Forget the longing and the pain inside your chest.

(Tikka Masala & Pedro Manuel)

High hopes

2010-11-06T20:19:00.000Z

Up above
far and away
from solid ground,
high hopes
overcome me
making me soar
like a graceful bird
amidst a solemn infinity of blue...

but also -
for all I love and cannot touch
for all I see and will not be
for all I want and mustn't do -

feeling just a little bit sore
too.

Loneliness

2010-10-21T18:14:00.000+01:00

People all around.
Indifferent, unknown,
Loving and loved ones,
Like little ducklings,
fighting sweetly
for the breadcrumbs
I've thrown.

I smile and feel a kind of pang
a distant woe, inside.
«How can you be lonely?», you ask.
Just because, who knows?
All that matters is
that instead of wanting them around
I want to run away and hide.

Loneliness
Is such a possessive friend, you know?
She wants the whole of me
at all times
by her side.

Madness

2010-10-04T20:16:00.000+01:00

To doubt yourself and others

No more

To an extent

That you accept all that is

And is not

Good and bad

No matter

To never regret or repent.

To treat children, adults

Dogs or trees

In the same detached manner

As if they were dolls, a priest

God himself, or fleas.

To be here or there

As if you were in no place

And also everywhere

Incredibly far and near.

To be sure, to feel safe,

To be absurdly brave

To know no boundaries,

no fear.

To be unaware of the rules

And think of the wise

As fools.

Lightness

2010-04-01T20:09:00.000+01:00

Photo by Nuno Pavão

Bright and light

saving the savour of day

when the wind

is just right,

setting a glow of beauty

against the background,

defying the very concept

of a beautiful sight.

Grudge

2010-03-11T14:31:00.000Z

Yes, I bear a grudge.
It's big. It's huge
and it's making me grind my teeth
as I try to get some sleep
late at night.

No, I'm not all right.
There's a smudge in our lives
A stain on my cloth,
as, for sure,
on those of many - countless - other wives.

True, I am not certain
How much of the mess I created
What part of the fault
is my own.
Still, at night,
when I feel weighed down
by this burden
it is you I envisage
when I inadvertedly frown

as if you were a cruel
little mischievous child
and I
a poor, professional clown.

Worthless words

2010-01-14T18:23:00.000Z

These are words I put together,
words I could not say.
Words made of my imperfection
like almost visible stuff
I try to protect
from the light of day.

But it is useless
both to hide and to reveal them.

Who the hell reads poetry anyway?

Rotten within

2009-11-24T12:17:00.000Z

You're fresh, full of life,

others wish they were you.
Why moan about the weather
when you're sheltered and safe?

You say you don't, but you do.
You fasten yourself to a tether,
choose bitterness, strife,
and misery too.

Beastly beauty

2009-08-24T17:23:00.000+01:00

In all of us
without exception
- and that's the beauty of it -
there's a bit of spark,
a bit of dust.

In me and you
alike
there's something beautiful
we can trust
and something awful too,
a terrible truth
to lie about.
There's colour and life
till blindless
and stillness
strike.

In us and them,
there's all and nothing,
no doubt.
The question is merely
what's in
and what's out.

Hang in there

2009-07-30T12:46:00.000+01:00

Photo by Nuno Pavão

Hang in there,
I say to myself
even if you feel like an old book
yellowing away on a shelf.
Hang in there,
I whisper to me
even if you feel like an old leaf
hanging half dead from a tree.
Hang on,
I say,
don't let go.

You're alive
and that's bliss

be grateful
for light and joy
but also
for pain and woe.

Giving for a living

2009-01-21T16:53:00.000Z

Photo by Nuno Pavão

Everyday,
everywhere,
there's a chance for us to give.

When we choose
not to look,
not do dwell on it,
not to think, so we can live,

our lives may carry on,
we may believe we get somewhere,
we accomplish what we want.
But happiness, bliss, true peace inside?
Not a chance.
Not until we give with joy and pride.

Inconvenient me

2008-08-20T00:43:00.000+01:00

Photo by Nuno Pavão

Inconvenient me

Indiscreet and loud

Saying either too many words
or the wrong ones

Spinning a web of futility
with my big mouth.

Wind in the pines

2008-06-16T23:06:00.000+01:00

Wind in the pines,

you sing to me

such soothing lines...

The doves on their arms

know not of the charms

that their songs,

along with yours,

actually possess.

Truly,

your almost inaudible cries

feel like a caress.

Written silence

2008-03-12T17:12:00.000Z

No comments.

No value
No interest
Nothing
worth noticing,
Not a word
to be wasted?

No comments.

No joy
No pleasure
Nothing to treasure
In your heart,
Not a sight
From where it might be difficult
To depart?

No comments.

Not a clue
As to how I should react,
As to how I should address you.
No vocabulary
No grammar
Can help me get through.

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

2008-01-10T12:34:00.000Z

Games people play:

I want to talk

but I never listen

to what you have to say.

And your silent refrains

are no match

for my legitimate complaints.

Games people play:

I try not to judge

but there you go again...

why do you have to be that way?

And your sensible advice

is useless to me,

so don't give it twice.

Games people play:

I do what I do,

you do what I say.

Disbeliever

2007-09-11T15:55:00.000+01:00

I live in the dark,
you say.

Well, I am accustomed to it
and, thank you, I can find my way.

As to the light
you offer to cast
upon my life,
I find it far too strong and blinding
for my material eyes.

Welcome

2007-07-31T13:16:00.001+01:00

Welcome,

my prince, my life, my joy.

I hope I can make you happy,

my sweet little boy.

A teacher's complaint

2007-06-28T14:33:00.001+01:00

Miss them already.

I worry and complain...
Feel, sometimes,
that I'm going insane.
I grumble and moan,
Wish I could run away
and be alone.

But when they're all gone
from my life,
When I realise
I mean nothing to them
And they don't give a shit,
I can't avoid the water
Running to my eyes
And wish I could quit.

I'd love to be a man

2007-05-23T20:07:00.000+01:00

I’d love to be a man
even if just for one day.

To be able to sit back
and relax
while pots and pans stir,
the scent builds up
(“what a lovely combination:
the kitchen and her!”)
and a meal is created
like pure magic.

To be the one to ask
with a nonchalant smile
“what’s for dinner today?"
And hear my sweet,
priceless wife say:
"your favourite, dear" –
Her grudges and rage
well tucked away
under layers of tame, tame love
(not fear).

Oh, yes.
I’d love to be a man
in a man’s world.
To be the hungry,
lazy wolf
pampered by a dove.

HEY

2007-05-10T12:41:00.000+01:00

You, out there,
on the other side!

Nice to know you care,
even though you tend to hide…

I know I’m not alone,
I feel your presence.
And it brings me such comfort,
such solace,
That even with no sign from you,
I sense your essence.

elusion

2007-04-03T18:31:00.000+01:00

I've written so much
and yet

words elude me
like grains of sand
slipping through my fingers.

NOT TOO LATE

2007-03-08T21:32:00.000Z

Let me out of this darn cell.

I've been in my head for too long,
I'm tired of putting up with me.

I've found no reason to stick to this mind,
This is definitely not who I want to be.

I've still got some life left, so please,
while I'm still sane, allow me to be free.

Me

2007-02-10T12:24:00.000Z

A miracle,
an accident,
a speck in time.

An incredible experience
a trip on the planet
which might result in victimhood
or in crime.

CURSE

2007-01-10T13:11:00.000Z

Cursed be the men who hanged him
for they are no better than he.

When I take your life for taking the lives of others
For good and evil, we are bound as brothers.

PATHOS

2006-08-22T15:50:00.000+01:00

s
s
s
(Illustration by Rien Poortvliet)

s
s

There is something poetic
about my death
Something outrageously beautiful
about my very last breath.

Audaciously sad,
this longing to grieve
my own pain
rejoicing at the thought of others
mourning in vain.

I am curious
about this suffering
I and they
will have to endure.

But to draw any conclusions
at this stage
would be premature.

OUR EYES

2006-08-08T18:33:00.000+01:00

Our eyes
tell the happiness we share
when they smile together.
And I can feel you feel
my smile is brighter
when you are there.

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT

2006-07-25T17:11:00.000+01:00

Yes, my house
is falling apart.
They said it was unwise
to stay inside
but I don’t consider myself
that smart...

Besides,
where else
am I going to fall sleep
whilst watching the stars?
Why should I come
down to Earth
when I can live in Mars?

Others see curtains,
stained glass
and sorrow
when they gaze at their windows
from the outside.
But I see infinity
in shades of blue
I am happy and free
When I come home to you.

A SHADOW

2006-07-21T23:01:00.000+01:00

(Beautiful drawing by Rien Poortvliet)

Who's there?
What do you want?
The morning mist
confuses my eyes.

How do I know
In this strange light
Whether you're friend
or foe,
whether you've come to help
or fight?

Cute and helpless

2006-07-07T19:36:00.000+01:00

Cute little helpless creatures, we say.
And we tend to forget that we, also,
In our own complicated way,
may not be exactly cute
but are definitely as helpless, today,
as when science and religion were mute.

Damp feelings

2006-06-16T21:49:00.000+01:00

(watercolour by Rien Poortvliet)

The rain has come down upon the earth
And turned my home into a dirty pool.
The world is now a sad, smelly place
The grey clouds seem to me so cruel.

I look around and sigh, feeling vaguely sick
The ground is soft, but treacherous and cold,
Is this a plot against me? Who played this dirty trick?
My strength is gone, I must have grown old.

WORDLESSNESS

2006-06-14T11:42:00.000+01:00

Not that I am not thinking
Not that life is passing me by
Not that I don’t want to share
Things that make me smile and cry

But I have come down
With a strange illness
My tired brain is dumb
In a kind of verbal stillness

I think and feel it all,
From excitement to sadness
But I can’t seem to express it
I’ve been struck by wordlessness.

Restlessness

2006-05-31T17:16:00.000+01:00

Restless, restless,

My heart runs along,
while my soul finds no song to sing.

Restless, restless,
My heart runs on,
Not knowing it has a broken wing.

Faster, forward,
Sometimes looking back,
Tripping over stones of loss and sorrow,
Humming to itself, carrying the weight
Of the grudge against my soul
Who finds no song and no reason
To run along with him.
(She knows she has no wings...)

Restless, restless,
He sings. But his song lacks
The power and the grace
To make him fly

And so he must die.
(1995)

TIMEFRAME

2006-05-29T23:21:00.000+01:00

Maybe if I put a frame
around this moment
Time will stop.
Maybe if I sit still
If I don’t talk
Things will stay the same.

Maybe if shut my eyes
You’ll be here

Maybe in disguise
You can come near.

2006-05-21T23:14:00.000+01:00

MISGROWN

2006-05-21T23:13:00.000+01:00

How can you tell
that you’re grown up?
Do you one day
simply wake up
and say
that’s it,
no more dolls for me?

Do you start wearing heels
and being sexy?
And making up
And making out?

And what if you never
- throughout your life -
find out what growing
is all about?

GENTLE BIRD

2006-05-13T15:50:00.000+01:00

Gentle bird,
Please bring me down to earth!
Flying so high
With you
Is a dream
Come true;
But I am dizzy now,
My lover awaits me,
I’ve been gone too long.

So bring me back
From the sky
Down to light grey
From bright blue.

Literal happiness

2006-05-11T13:35:00.000+01:00

We read and write
day and night,
we communicate
with each other
and ourselves.
Book upon book,
our lives
are gathered
on our shelves.

The words we bear
and bring to light,
the dreams we share,
the wrongs made right
all seem to have one purpose,
at least to me:
to make us feel alive
and close together
to make us both feel happy
and free.

Lost in thought

2006-05-10T00:08:00.000+01:00

I could be mistaken
I could be foolish or crazy
I could be wise, maybe,
Or simply lazy

But I would love to get lost
inside your head.

The wise and the wild

2006-05-07T23:45:00.000+01:00

I feel wild
when I go against the flow
to be me...
I feel irrationally free.

But you seem wise
when you do the same;
You don’t seem to get burned
By the flame.

Wisdom, my friend,
Is your valuable shield.
But I hope that,
When I come near,
You will yield.

SOUL MATES

2006-05-04T22:38:00.000+01:00

There’s an inexplicable
Incredible
Ineffable
feeling
Inside.

I feel like the sand
being constantly
smoothly
lovingly
bathed
by the tide.

It is all in my head,
you say,
and I know,
but, my dear friend,
even so,
I’d rather
rejoice with a fulfilling dream
than achieve a wise,
frustrating thought.

HAND IN HAND

2006-04-22T18:04:00.000+01:00

Ours
is the joy
Ours
the grief
Ours the dream
and the belief.

Ours to split
Ours to share
Ours forever
Here and there.

EASY

2006-04-19T22:52:00.000+01:00

It would have been so easy
just lying there, gazing
at the different hues
of the greens
and the browns
and the blues...

Oh, life would be so easy
If only I could choose.

BY THE SHORE

2006-04-16T20:39:00.000+01:00

Out there, by the shore,
There’s an infinity of paths
For us to explore.

Out there we shall walk
We shall wander, hands entwined,
And we don’t need to talk.

I want to take you there
Kiss you there
and tell you,
with our bare feet
buried in the sand,
That I can be your best lover
as well as your best friend.

THE FOOLISH WISE POET AND MY GRANDPARENTS

2006-04-14T20:58:00.000+01:00

They are not fools,
as Larkin said.
They are just fading
withering slowly
and perhaps,
yes,
going slightly mad.

They have come to a point
when their minds alone
can help them forget
what’s become of them
and, worse,
what’s coming!...
but they’re not fools
made of skin and bone.

You’re right, though,
“we shall find out”
But you,
old fool,
you’re already just the shadow
of a doubt.

to a good student

2006-04-08T18:18:00.000+01:00

You were just another someone
And yet
I liked you more than the others.

You were keen and sharp
And oh, so handsome...
It was a pleasure
- a privilege -
To have you there,
Staring at me.

Now you’ve given up
And gone away
I wonder...
Could I have made you stay?

APRIL FOOLS

2006-04-01T11:19:00.000+01:00

We think Spring
has come to stay
and the rain
has gone away.
We feel happy
and warm
and free,
I love you
and you love me.

LIVING IN A BOX

2006-03-30T14:04:00.000+01:00

I’m living in a box
and I don’t mind;
I don’t look at it much
from the outside.

I’m living in a box
but that’s ok,
‘cause when the door locks
I do things my way.

I’m living in a box
which is all right:
all houses are equal
when you sleep at night.

I’m living in a box
and that’s terrific
‘cause when I die
I know I won’t miss it.

SUICIDAL NOTE

2006-03-22T18:09:00.000Z

Here I am,
living.
Using my time,
in this life,
somehow.

I guess
that if I was meant
to be a genius
I would have known
by now.

BLUE

2006-03-21T15:15:00.000Z

Blue is the water
That catches my eye
Today is a good day to cry.

Blue is the distance
Between you and I
No day is a good day to ask why.

Blue is the feeling
Grey is the sky
Today is a good day to die.

PROUDLY WRONG

2006-03-19T23:11:00.000Z

You came
into my life, like a blessing,
and I did nothing
but moan

You offered
to listen and give me advice
but I insisted
in being alone

You left
because I wouldn’t change
so, I cried in despair
and said you were unfair...
But it’s strange:
I have always known
that I’d stay on my own.

HELPLESSNESS

2006-03-16T23:06:00.000Z

I've just been left here,

that's what it feels like.

Won't somebody come

and pick me up?

Please?

Now?

THE HUG

2006-02-27T01:33:00.000Z

there was a huge silence.
no words were ever invented
to express our joy
and relief.

I gave in at last
allowed myself to shun the past
and the world was within us
for a moment
although it was brief.

A Serpente

2006-02-22T18:33:00.000Z

Sai da sombra
a serpente subtil
e segue, sibilante,
o seu caminho.

Sabe que, se avançar
sorrateira, sem som,
há-de surpreender
algum ratinho.

Sempre solitária
serpenteando, sensual,
sobre o sedoso capim,
suave e serena,
será sempre assim.

Rio

2006-02-13T23:23:00.000Z

Marvellous city
where the poor are kings
in a strange way
and the rich are scared
and keep themselves at bay,
Amazing town
where nature rules
and Christ too,
where we, tourists, are fools:

I am in love with you.

THE GIFT

2006-01-26T22:26:00.000Z

She gave me a kiss
on my birthday.
Said it was special,
a gift to remember.

It felt like such bliss
I didn’t know what to say,
as if the beauty of May
had come back in November.

YELLOW BRICK ROAD

2006-01-24T23:21:00.000Z

Photo by Papel Químico

Place I’ve never been
Sight I’ve never seen
Colourful walls
I am waiting to touch
Cheerful gravel paths
I want to walk so much...
Stay,
Hold your beauty!
I’m on my way.

AFTERTHOUGHT

2006-01-23T18:18:00.000Z

How hard it was
for me to listen
and not be able to speak.

How sad I felt,
how disappointed,
for hiding, with no one to seek.

How awkward
that you should want to read
but not hear...
and continue so far
when near.

COBBLED THOUGHTS

2006-01-15T18:50:00.000Z

Neat-looking
but insanely bound.
It takes a strong hoe
to crush the weeds
that grow between them,
to make them seem sound.

Lucid Lullaby

2006-01-08T16:58:00.000Z

The wind is mad
The land is sore
The sea is dead
The birds will sing
No more.

Tell me when the end will come,
Tell me who will survive.

Let the truth lull me to sleep,
And then keep me alive.

COMPANY

2006-01-07T15:23:00.000Z

I chose to wander
without a compass
because
- I claimed -
there was more beauty
in the unknown.

But you followed
with your good sense
because
- you explained -
the woods are dangerous
if you walk alone.

CHAOS

2006-01-06T22:29:00.000Z

Flickering deadly lights
And the sound of thunder
In my mind.

Restless winds moaning
And sweeping my thoughts way
Reason gone for the day
Passion ruling the house
Virtue with her hands on her head
And the cat
Poisoned by the mouse.

Prayers forgotten, and God
thought of as some stranger
Revenge blinded by pride
And pride by pain
Words erased by anger
Constancy insane.

Oh, how would it turn out to be
If you weren’t here with me?

TO A GOOD WRITER

2006-01-02T23:29:00.000Z

How can I love you and why?
You are but a collection
Of infinite writings
And love is far too strong a word.

Amazing, how you say the right things!
You ‘re a distant, invisible man,
A voice I’ve never heard.

How come I feel so excited
When you tell me what you think, or do?
I don’t know why I love you so
But it’s true:
I am relieved, like a caged bird,
When I open a message from you.

Purple inspiration

2005-12-30T19:24:00.000Z

Beautiful jacaranda,
You make it all worthwhile.

I look away from the waste,
the graffiti, the poo
(bloody birds and dogs
seem to plot against you!)
I ignore the noise,
the dirty smell in the air,
and focus on your poise,
your elegant way
of simply being there
despising the hours
of draught and solitude,
the delicate purple
of your flowers,
your slim trunk
proudly in the nude...

It’s a blessing that you’re there,
a beautiful sight for me to stare.

Church bells

2005-12-30T10:18:00.000Z

Dong...dong...
The end came
long before its time.
But lo,
a new beginning
makes the bells chime
once more!

Wouldn’t you think
that after all these years
the sound of church bells
should have been made different
depending on whether
they celebrate life
or remind us of our fears?

At the right place at the wrong time

2005-12-28T17:57:00.000Z

Useless words
that speak of unleashed love
and impossible desire
Useless flame
that burns coldly
in this fake, imitation fire

Useless thoughts
of how perfect it would be
Useless longing for a future dawn
that we will never see...

Be still, hush, go away
for the timing was not right
and even though this is the place
One of us did not come to stay.

The difference

2005-12-26T19:05:00.000Z

You come and go
I stay.

You forget about me
and live your life
between work
and play;
you worry about
things that matter
like what other people do
or say.
I just linger here
getting fatter
thinking
and dreaming away.

PLAYING WITH FIRE

2005-12-22T17:23:00.000Z

Take me out
buy me lunch
Tell me I’m beautiful
Time and again...

Look me in the eye
Keep the flame alive
Let’s both live a lie
While I drive...

And then

When you hear me sigh
And nothing’s left to say
Just let me cry
And pray...

The cheerful wall

2005-12-19T19:11:00.000Z

shiny
summery
cool and protective
you hide a whole world
inside you.
But only those
holding the key
can go in
and see.

Save your words

2005-12-16T16:48:00.000Z

Save your words.
Follow the clever silence
Of your fingertips
And reach out for the touch.

Soon enough you will learn
Words are of no use
In preserving or reviving
What we can’t but must
Do without.
No point in whispering
No need to shout.

The pain of loss
Clings to the memory
With claws of fear
For what is yet to lose.

So, save your words
And have the courage to refuse
What you don’t know
How to receive
Have the courage to kill
What is asking you to live.

AUTUMN'S HARVEST

2005-12-13T22:04:00.000Z

PRESENT PERFECT

2005-12-07T16:54:00.000Z

It is truly amazing
how perfectly we fit.
We are so well adapted
to each other...
You´re like a long wished for
siamese brother.

But then,
come to think of it,
aren’t we all
made to suit
one another?

Stuck

2005-12-03T16:15:00.000Z

I'm stuck.

The sunlight hurts
the webs are covering my eyes.
I prick myself
when I try to move
so I never go far.

But still I rejoice
in my good fortune
because, just like me,

here you are.

You and I

2005-12-03T15:53:00.000Z

Let our music fade
and our dreams
turn into sighs
as long as we may find
beauty in our lives.
Let our confidence
grow old and weak
let us seek
without finding
the blinding light
of truth.

As long as thinking
and feeling
and loving
and wanting
are mere moments
of our being.
As long as you and I
simply are.

INTO THE WOODS

2005-11-30T20:06:00.000Z

Inviting and beautiful as they may be
The woods are dangerous grounds.

I went in there today.
I ventured
into the enchanting green
careless
crazy
wild
and fortunately
nothing very serious happened.

And tomorrow
if I should happen to be caught by the spell again
I know I won’t be any more careful.
That’s just the way I am
optimistic
hopeful
naive
...
So, please don’t get me wrong, don’t misunderstand my intentions.
When I walk fearlessly into the forest between us
Don’t mistake my friendship for love
I’m just so passionate
maybe immature
Or maybe
I love you...
I’m just
not
sure.

Numb

2005-11-28T00:13:00.000Z

You came in
And smiled your nervous, candid smile.
You wanted to do better
Do more
Be
Bolder and smarter and more articulate too.

I was charmed
And smiled back, looking straight into your eyes.
I tried to show you everything
You wanted
To know.

Now you say
You are indebted to me;
And I feel so helpless
So shy and so dumb...

I wish I was free
Or numb.

HAPPINESS

2005-11-27T19:53:00.000Z

Even though it lies still,
coldly away from me,
it is mine, all mine,
whenever I want it to be.

ALWAYS REMEMBER STD

2005-11-25T14:17:00.000Z

He was a GP.
She was a PA who looked OK.
He met her at AA and she told him about LSD.
At his place, he drank A&W and offered her G&T while they watched MTV.
He didn’t mind her BO when he got to her IUD.
Later, he took AZT to slow down HIV.

2005-11-23T21:07:00.000Z

What is it that makes the Alentejo such a magical place? Certainly the idyllic landscapes, the unspoilt harmony between nature and man, the tranquil quality of all elements, from soil to sky. The incredible match of colours: warm browns, vigorous greens, tender yellows and all the in-between possibilities. A feast for the eyes, a gift for the soul. A small glimpse of paradise for those who are lucky enough to be able to get there...

2005-11-21T23:12:00.000Z

I'm torn between the words I could have chosen
And the ones I really said.
I hesitated
And now I've left you mad...

I’m stuck amidst regret, guilt and anger
for things I left unsaid
I chose silence
And now my silence has been spread.

I’m hard but weak and helpless
And so cold that I feel dead.

You’re soft and tasty
but so mean and pasty...
You’re the butter,
I’m the bread.

My own little café

2005-11-18T21:07:00.000Z

No noisy customers, no poisonous smoke from rude smokers (was it just that day?). A few books to look at, some sweets for sail. Finally, a café where children can feel good and have some room for themselves! Look for it by the main church if you happen to visit Montemor-o-Novo, in the Province of Alentejo, Portugal.

2005-11-18T21:00:00.000Z

Reading: an obligation, a necessity,
a lesson, always.

Despair

2005-11-18T20:56:00.000Z

Sleepless eyes
Come and cut me loose
From these fallacious ties.
Smooth, lingering shadows
Take me,
Silence me,
Lure me with your lies,
Lift me to the skies.

Jingle Bells (to be sung)

2005-11-18T16:08:00.000Z

Christmas time, Christmas time
Shopping all the time!
Join the throng,
zombie-like,
party at the Mall!

Christmas time, Christmas time!
Don't you dare to hide...
Oh, what fun
it is to ride
on a one-track minded world!

(Jingle, jingle
the money in your purse;
jingle, jingle
the cash dispenser fuss!)

We wish you a merry S H O P P I N G,
we wish you spend to be kind,
we wish you come back tomorrow,
and continue as blind!

2005-11-18T12:36:00.000Z

A backward poet says

2005-11-17T22:22:00.000Z

Poems are wanton without rhyme,
I refuse to do that to mine.

Music demands repetition
and poetry has music in its spine,
So I repeat,
Poetry is wanting without rhyme.

A poet's complaint

2005-11-17T22:19:00.000Z

I used to draw Inspiration
From being unhappy,
Derive Exultation from despair.

A twisted mind
Can turn you blind
Just as you stare into the essence of life.
And then,
To your relief,
Consciousness returns to your appeased self.
After all,
Life is merely made of slips and trips.

But then poetry is no longer available
To your hungry fingertips.

COM postagem

2005-11-17T22:13:00.000Z

Lixo
Esterco
Imundície

Há muitas palavras para designar muitas coisas
úteis, inúteis
e nem-uma-coisa-nem-outra.

Mas gosto mais de compostagem
do que de postagem...