Inside looking in

I live for this.

It's ridiculous,
I know.
Pathetic, exaggerated,
over the top,
Think what you like
it won't make me change.

Inside my head
there's a whole little world
I created to suit me
an order
I can rearrange.

It's made out of thoughts
built upon words
sustained by ideas
scaffolded only
by feeling and want.

So weak and ineffable,
hollow and scant
so meaningless too
people would say -
if they knew.

They'd be right
of course
in their own petty way.
But a world like this
is so reliable
pleasant and safe
it does not disappoint me
or fail to be true.
Plus it is all mine
to enjoy
and will last
for as long as do.


Of course,
if only you knock on my door -
even if you come
to ravage and shake
to strike and to break
all buildings and walls -


I will be delighted
and hope you will stay
after everything falls.

Going your way

I thought my whole life
I would just have to sit and wait
Pouring useless words out
While the best of life went on
cheerful and indifferent
right before
my self-blinded eyes.

But now, after all,
I exhilarate
almost out of breath
and feel as if I am soaring
high above.

All it took
was that gesture you made
a subtle provocation
that reached out
probing for what's there
poking my numb self
stirring its capacity
for love.


True,
nothing we might say
could build safe, solid ground
for us to land.
So let me go your way
and we'll just stay above
up in the sky -
not down in hell -
living on wild dreams
with no end.

So there you were

Acceptance is key, of course.
Take birds, insects, even mammals:
all except us
- wretched beastly souls -
just take or leave whatever's there
and move on.

We have to analyse, consider
- "what if...?" -
 speculate, refuse
try to change, absorb
and so many times abuse
that nothing can ever be the same
or - which is worse -
we make it gone.

So there you were,
just passing through
and I couldn't simply look away
once I had set my eyes on you.

And here I am
quite stuck
feeling trapped, paralysed, amazed...

Were I a lady-bird
a dog, a sea gull
or a duck
And the question
would never have been raised.

Say what you like

Say what you like
entice me
lure me
provoke me
with your flattering words,

there is nothing I can do.


Say what you will
make my heart pound
my eyes shine
my body tremble,
there is nowhere I can go

to be with you.


Say what I want
take me
tell me
give me
what I need.


It seems
that nothing I can be
will make you look away


But
sadly
tragically
fatally
nothing you or I can say


will make us lovers one day.

The Depth of My Dark Soul

T

T

T

T
The nature of my Soul is shapeless

And it is black, but can be white as well

It can fade like smoke or be stunningly bright

Always pulsing, nevertheless,

Permanently hiding out,

And coming back into sight.



The nature of my Soul can be a sunflower

It can be your smile, when you smile,

It can be a cold wind gust, for a while,

But remains unique in its power:

The golden sixty-first minute

of an entirely new hour.



The nature of my soul is ubiquitous,

It sees the good, it sees the bad,

It feels like a black hole

Slowly absorbing, in contraction

And waiting to expand

Into a burst of energy so strong and redeeming

So shockingly violent,

That six billion human beings,

Six billion wretched and blinded souls,

Would at once become silent.




(By Pedro Manuel and me)

Surround to forget

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things,
The world can forget us for a while.
Let’s accept what life brings,
At home, elsewhere in exile.

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things
Within a thousand or more than a mile
Let’s pretend that we’re kings
And love will rule for a while.

Let’s surround ourselves of beautiful things
Thus protecting ourselves from the rest...
Let's find peace at last in contemplation
Forget the longing and the pain inside your chest.


(Tikka Masala & Pedro Manuel)