Labour

Giving birth to expression
is so difficult sometimes.
When I need most to unravel
the emotional knots
in the thread of my thoughts
I push
wait
then push again
panting.

I flinch and cry out in despair
I want to give up
It's too much
I feel sore
but no, I won't dare

and anyway pushing
is inevitable
so I push once more

I push as hard as I can
and the pain pushes me too.


But it's impossible to deliver this time -
not even for you.



Yet all the strength this entails,
the courage, the patience -
I know that I have them,
Be sure that I do.

It's language
that's blocking the way
for this revelation -

for this unspoken
unspeakable burden
to blurt itself out

to shape itself true.